Everyday Stuff That Works Off-Road

There's no substitute for the right tool or a specific part when it's called for, and you shouldn't try to go cheap where it matters. Still, there ought to be some few places where bikers are getting gouged, where there's a 'non-factory authorized' version that works just as well. Here's some stuff I wish I'd known about years ago.

cheap CO2 | cold weather gloves | reasonable eye protection
the cheapest 1/2-lb you'll ever shave | the 10-cent carbo-hit | bike-to-pickup interface
a chain lube that works
A great article on functional clothes, courtesy of Dirt Rag.
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you ever notice ...

that CO2 carts for your Superflate cost about $1 each in the bike world but go for $8 for a box of 25 in the gun & sports section of most discout stores? That's $0.32 each -- cheaper than patches.

warm gloves for cool weather

My old Cannondale gloves never quite fit. A little too stubby in the fingers, a little too tight across the knuckles, they always squeezed me enough that I had to open the vent zipper to bend into the drops on a road bike or grab GripShifts off-road. Then I was wandering through the deer-killing section of the local Sprawl-Mart(tm) and spotted these neoprene jewels -- day-glo orange, roomy, high tops, adjustable velcro, FIT BETTER THAN MY OLD ONES(!), and all for a big $7.50. How could I go wrong? Well, the index finger is a little tight (but still looser than my old pair), and they aren't sewn into a pre-bent easy gripping shape. Big whoop. They work, cold weather STI shifting is a breeze, and on GripShifts things are even less critical so they work fine there too. Buy some today! (assuming it's not August) Tip: stick an old toilette paper roll core into each one to keep it open for air circulation between rides. This lets things dry out, keeping the funk-factor down.
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bulletproof is good enough

"Thermonuclear Protection"? What, are you planning on riding the Trinity Test site? Truck down to a gun shop and get some shooting glasses. They don't all look like welding goggles anymore. Some are even sorta hip-lookin'-no-lower-frame designs. Clear, high-vis yellow, smoke gray, all the required outdoors colors. Shooters need function and don't want to look like dorks either. No, they're not really bulletproof, but they're designed to give your eyes a fighting chance if something goes Badly Wrong in mid-shot. This is enough to deflect branches on the trail. My favorites are some high-vis wraparound Remmingtons I found at at the local mega-mart. They hang tight on and at $14 I don't freak when they get scratched.
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the $15 half-pound

Can't spare the $700 to upgrade Judy to a SID? For about $15 you can loose half that much weight, and where it counts even more. Get some lightweight butyl tubes and ditch 100g per wheel, and another 100g for the spare.. I found a deal last year on some at the LBS: 130g each for $5, a net loss of 300g, or just over a half-pound. Even better, this is mostly unsprung and rotating mass (unsprung = more responsive suspension; rotating at the rim = a double-gain (400g!) when accelerating or braking). So that's 2/3 of a pound in static mass (i.e., what you have to haul up a hill), or just over a pound in dynamic mass (i.e., what you have to sweat to accelerate). These tubes sold so well at the LBS they've gone up to $10 this year. Still a bargain, when you consider a SID may save you another half-pound for about 40 times as much. Now if I could lay off the dark beer and tortilla chips.
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to first order, carbs is carbs

Maybe name-brand energy bars are worth the (way up) difference in price and the (way down) difference in taste from real food. But I really doubt it. The April '98 issue of Bicycling has a short take on a university study that showed no difference in performance an hour after eating a plastic energy bar or a plain old bowl of oatmeal. Maybe it makes a difference if you're tied for #1 or #2 in the World Cup series; I wouldn't know. But I do know that for the price of 3 of these designer-bars I can get a pound of store-brand fig bars and a box of zip-lock baggies. It gets the job done, and without pulling my teeth out in cold weather.

Energy bars do have their place (hopefully in the bottom of swag bags I get handed at race registration). I've tried and like very much Balance bars on long rides, mostly for their high protein. But for day-to-day use $1.50 a pop is ridiculous when there's a $0.10 alternative that works.
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non-ANSI Standard Truck-Bike interface

This is an old MX trick: get a couple of come-along straps with plastic coated S-hooks for each bike you want to hold in a truck bed. Stand the bike up, facing forward, with the front wheel against the front of the truck bed. Loop the straps around the headset, stem, or bar-ends (whatever works) on the bikes, and on the front stake holes on the truck bed. Crank down enough to compress the fork a little and keep things in place. At worst, you may have to fiddle things to keep the rear wheel from lifting off (putting the hooks closer to the head tube helps). Ta-da! Bikes are securely held with no unusual stress on the fork drop-outs; didn't even have to remove the front wheels. Price is right too. I've seen this work for three bikes at a time, might be stretched to four.

But if you've just got a car, sorry -- give up the trunk or spring for a rack.
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a chain lube that works

This is an extremist's wet lube, so brace yourself. Mix 90 wt gear grease (outboard motor "foot grease" is even better) in 50-50 proportions with Slick 50 (or similar "restore your old engine" product). You can do this a little at a time and reuse an old chain lube bottle; less messy that way. Or you can do it all at once and share it with a friend. Either way, it's cheap, about $24 for two quarts, enough to last the average rider well into the next century. To use, dribble it on just like any other wet lube. Put some old newspapers on the floor and between your wheel and drivetrain. You really don't want this slop getting on your rims. Backpedal a few times to work it in, the wipe it all off. Every stinkin' (and it does) bit of it. Use a terrycloth scrap for the final wipe-down, it gets even more lube off the outside parts that don't need it. And that's it, go ride.

Or maybe not quite. If the drivetrain looks wet and caked after a normal ride, you're not wiping enough off (you'll need a good degreaser about now). If you're doing it just right, you'll be able to brush off the chain and cogs after an average dry-ish ride, maybe scrape off a little crud, but only a little. If you're doing a lot of deep sand rides, consider something dryer anyway. If you want to know why, go read this. Even if you don't want to know, go read it anyway. Under average riding conditions, I get about 20 to 40 miles off road from one application. This is the stuff for epic rides.

Don't use it on cables. They don't take the kind of pressure chain bearing surfaces take and they don't need something this heavy. Use a good dry or semi-dry lube there. They take so little of it anyway that one of those 4oz bottles will last a good while, so it's not that big of an expense. Works OK on pedals, but as with chains, wipe all you can off before using,
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